


The Cast of Yu-Gi-Oh Play Silent Library

by DiamondsAreForever



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Gen, Humor, Random - Freeform, funny stuff, silent library
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondsAreForever/pseuds/DiamondsAreForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the Yu-Gi-Oh gang gets on Silent Library? Craziness ensues, the fangirls go wild, I chase the host, and your favorite Yu-Gi-Oh characters endure all sorts of punishment! Rated T for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1: The Guys

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Silent Library. Some of the games are from Silent Library while other games in this story are ones I made up. While I realize there’s no dialogue between the contestants between the games on the actual show, if I did it that way in this story, it might be really boring. If the real Zero Kazama is watching this, I swear I am not a pervy fangirl. That’s just my alter-ego for this story. So here we go!

The show opens and we see Zero Kazama sitting behind the library desk.

“I’m Zero Kazama,” he says. “This is not a game show. _This_ is Silent Library.”

Then you hear me off screen.

“I’m DiamondsAreForever and I’m the announcer!” I say off screen. “Let’s meet our six contestants!”

The contestants walk in one by one.

“First, let’s meet Yugi.”

Yugi walks in with a smile on his face.

“Joey.”

Joey walks in looking very confident that he’s going to win lots of money in this game.

_Oh yeah, I’ve got this baby in the bag._ Joey thinks confidently.

“Tristan.”

Tristan swaggers into the library.

_Where’s the food?_ Tristan thinks to himself. _I’m hungry._

“Ryou.”

Ryou walks in with a smile and a wave.

“Seto.”

Seto Kaiba walks into the library with a frown on his face.

_I can think of about ten thousand places I’d rather be right now then with these losers,_ he thinks to himself.

“And Mokuba.”

Mokuba walks in with a big smile on his face.

_All right! Time to win some money! I hope we have fun!_ He thinks excitedly.

The six contestants sit at the table.

 “Six friends, one team, playing for thousands of dollars,” I announce until Seto cuts me off.

“Hey!” Seto snaps, shaking his fist at the ceiling. “We’re not friends! All these guys are complete losers! Especially that mutt, Wheeler!”

“Hey!” Joey snaps.

“I’m your friend, right Seto?” Mokuba asks defensively.

“Are you going to start this game or make friends with the paneling?” Zero asks.

“I don’t need friends,” Seto insists bitterly.

“Silence!” Zero snaps.

“Thank you Zero, God you’re so sexy,” I announce.

“Excuse me?” He asks as he raises his eyebrows.

“I, er, I mean, the rules are the players each draw cards. Whoever gets the skull and crossbones must be punished with a challenge. If he completes the challenge, the team wins money, but if he fails, or if his teammates make too much noise, they kiss it goodbye.”

“Round one,” Zero says. “Each challenge is worth three hundred dollars. The most important rule…is _silence_. You may begin.”

The six guys all sit at a table, each with a facedown card in front of them. Yugi counts to three quietly with his fingers and on three, the guys turn their cards over. They all burst out laughing as Seto turns over the card with the yellow skull and crossbones.

“Serves ya right,” Joey scoffs.

“This is gonna be funny,” Mokuba says quietly as Seto shoots him a dirty look.

Ryou pulls the lever on the machine and the display reveals the challenge. The challenge reads, “Fish slap” as everyone laughs.

“The contestant must be slapped repetitively in the face with a dead fish for thirty seconds,” I explain. We then see Joey armed and ready with a giant fish in one hand and Seto standing across from him with goggles on his face as he braces himself.

_Man, am I gonna enjoy this_ , Joey thinks to himself with a grin.

Joey smacks Seto in the face over and over again with the fish. Ten seconds in, the others are stifling their laughter. Five more seconds go by and Seto’s face is bright red.

With just five seconds left, Seto can’t take anymore and snaps, “Wheeler, you asshole!” The other guys then burst out laughing as the buzzer sounds signaling the end of the challenge.

The instant replay camera shows Seto’s cheeks flapping about in a droopy manner as Joey slaps him with the fish. You can hear Kaiba say, “Wheeeeeeler, yooooou asssshoooole!” in slow motion.

The guys are back at the table and Zero looks at them with disgust.

“You couldn’t maintain your composure,” Zero says with a frown. “No money for you!”

“Thanks a lot, Kaiba,” Joey says sarcastically as the others shush him.

“Zero Kazama is a sexy beast,” I announce as Zero looks very confused. “Oh shit, someone replaced my cue cards,” I quickly say.

“Psh, sure they did,” Mokuba says with a grin.

“What I meant to say was that Seto couldn’t take being fish slapped, so the guys’ total stands at zero dollars,” I quickly announce.

The guys are sitting at the table with the cards face down. They flip them over after Yugi counts to three on his fingers. Yugi ends up with the skull and crossbones card as the others laugh.

Ryou pulls the lever and the next challenge on the slot machine reads “Egg Toss”.

“The contestant must stand with a basket on his head while the other teammates toss eggs into the basket for forty seconds,” I say.

Yugi then is standing with a basket on his head, goggles on his face, and his shirt off. A crowd of Yugi fangirls have crowded near the front door of the library just because Yugi’s shirt’s off. They’re all screaming at the front door and Zero has gone to the door of the library blocking it with his body to stop the fangirls from entering.

Meanwhile, the clock begins and Ryou, Joey, Tristan, and Mokuba are all trying to throw eggs into the basket on Yugi’s head all except for Seto who keeps egging Yugi’s torso by chucking the eggs as hard as he can until shells and yolk explode all over the place. Yugi bites down his lip to stop from yelping in pain and surprise.

The buzzer sounds signaling the end of the game.

“Oh,” Zero says, “I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy trying to stop the fangirls from coming into the library. You get the money.”

The guys all cheer.

“Yugi’s fangirls were enough of a distraction for the ever-sexy Zero to earn the guys their first win. The team’s earnings come to three hundred dollars,” I say.

“Speaking of fangirls,” Zero mutters under his breath as he walks back to the desk, shaking his head.

As the next round begins, the guys turn their cards over and Mokuba ends up with the skull and crossbones card. He hangs his head in horror and Seto mutters, “I swear, if he gets hurt, I’m going to sue everyone on this show.”

“You can try, Seto, but you won’t get anything because I don’t own jack shit,” I say. “Now Ryou, pull the lever!”

Ryou pulls the lever on the slot machine and the challenge “Celery Cone” comes up. Mokuba looks like he’s going to hurl.

“You can’t make him do this! He hates celery!” Seto insists as he shakes his fists up at the ceiling.

“This hurts me more than it hurts you,” I tell him. “Besides, I’m not in the ceiling, I’m in a narrator booth that’s hidden somewhere in this room, so please stop shaking your fist at the ceiling.”

“In this challenge, the contestant has thirty seconds to eat an ice cream cone made entirely out of celery,” I say. As the contestants all sit at the table, Mokuba is given a celery ice cream cone.

_I hate celery, I hate celery, I hate celery,_ Mokuba thinks to himself as he gulps with nervousness.

Mokuba’s face turns bright green as his tongue meets the celery-flavored ice cream and starts gagging. Seto comes to Mokuba’s rescue by placing a trashcan by the side of Mokuba’s chair. Mokuba leans over and retches loudly.

The buzzer goes off.

“Please don’t make me do another challenge like that again,” Mokuba begged. Seto pats Mokuba on the back and asks, “Little brother, are you okay?”

“Your stomach failed you. No money!” Zero scolds as the guys all hang their head.

“Mokuba couldn’t stomach the celery ice cream cone and so the guys finish round three with three hundred dollars. On to the next round!” I say.

“In round two, the challenges are harder. Each one is worth four hundred dollars. And remember,” Zero says with a stern look on his face, “Silence! Begin!”

The six contestants flip over their cards again. This time, Tristan has the skull and crossbones as the others laugh at his expense.

Ryou can’t stop laughing as he pulls the lever. The challenge on the display of the slot machine is “Balloon Battering Ram.”

“The contestant must pop a wall of balloons with his head in under thirty seconds while his teammates use him as a battering ram,” I explain. “Wow, where’s the challenge in that?”

“This shouldn’t be a problem,” Seto says quietly with a smug tone.

“Yeah Tristan, your head is so pointy we’d have all those balloons popped in no time!” Joey adds.

“Hey!” Tristan yells.

“Silence!” Zero snaps from behind the desk.

A wall of balloons is placed nearby and the guys all pick up Tristan and use his head to pop all the balloons. They try to stifle their laughter and Tristan’s face turns pink from embarrassment. They manage to pop all the balloons with fifteen seconds to spare.

“Your pointy hairstyle served you well,” Zero says approvingly. “You get the money.”

“Tristan wins four hundred dollars in the first round, bringing the guys’ total to seven hundred dollars,” I announce. 

The guys sit around the table as Yugi counts to three on his fingers. They flip over their cards and Tristan ends up getting the skull and crossbones yet again.

“ _Really_?” Tristan asks as the others laugh.

Ryou pulls the lever and the challenge that comes up is “Old Gum”. The others all laugh as Tristan looks disgusted.

“The contestant has thirty seconds to chew a bowl of old chewing gum that’s been scraped off of every table in the library,” I say. “Oh God, I’m so glad I’m not you right now,” I add with a shudder.

_Damn, I wish there was a hamburger eating challenge_ , Tristan thought sadly. _I would so totally win that one._

A bowl of old chewing gum is placed in front of Tristan. Tristan swallows hard in nervousness and disgust.

“Oh man, that’s so wrong,” Joey whispers as everyone else shushes him. Tristan brings the bowl to his mouth, dumps the contents in his mouth, and begins chewing them as drool spills out his mouth and the others cringe. He spits them out into the trash can before the buzzer goes off. Everyone else bursts out laughing.

“Now I don’t feel so bad for not eating the celery ice cream,” Mokuba says quietly as the others shush him.

The buzzer finally goes off.

“You fail,” Zero says sternly. “No money for you!”

“Tristan failed to chew his way to victory, so the team’s winnings stand at four hundred,” I say.

The guys all flip their cards over to reveal Joey has the skull and crossbones. Seto looks very smug as Ryou pulls the lever to reveal the next challenge is one called, “Sucky, sucky, five dollars”. Everyone bursts out laughing, especially Seto. A random library patron looks up from their book and shakes their head in disgust.

“The contestant must suck on a ballet dancer’s big toe for thirty seconds,” I explain. “Need I say more?”

Tea walks into the library dressed in a ballerina costume and sits down in a chair as she unlaces her toe shoes to reveal feet that are dirty and covered in open sores and calluses. Joey kneels down as the other guys begin laughing and Joey cringes. They stop laughing as Joey begins sucking on the dancer’s big toe. All of the guys began to cringe and their faces turned bright green.

“That actually wasn’t so bad,” Joey whispered as Tea slipped her shoes back on and walked out of the library. Joey wipes the saliva off his lips.

“Wheeler, you’re disgusting,” Seto shuddered.

The guys sit back at the table as they wait for Zero’s verdict.

“Your efforts were not in vain,” Zero said. “You win the money.”

“The guys finish the second round with another four hundred dollars thanks to Joey’s foot fetish, meaning the guys enter the final round with eleven hundred dollars,” I announce. “The last round is worth one thousand dollars. It’s a good thing this show is almost over, because I want cheesecake. Or pie.”

“Why did we skip the eight hundred dollar round and go right to the final challenge?” Zero asks in confusion.

“Because I want pie,” I say. “And because I’m the announcer and I said so.”

“You’re sharing that pie with me, right?” Tristan asks.

The guys sit at the table one last time as Yugi counts to three on his fingers. The guys flip over their cards and everyone has the skull and crossbones card except for Mokuba.

“All right!” Mokuba says happily as the other five guys look nervous and annoyed.

Ryou shakes his head nervously and pulls the lever on the slot machine. The challenge that comes up is “Topless Duck Hunt”. Mokuba has a wicked grin on his face and the other guys look horrified.

“In this game,” I say, “the contestants must wear red targets on their shirtless bodies and walk in a circle for thirty seconds while the contestant that is safe from this challenge fires rubber balls at the targets.”

The guys, who have all removed their shirts and have put on red targets, are all walking in a circle as Mokuba is given an airsoft gun filled with rubber balls. The guys hang their heads in embarrassment as Mokuba tries his hardest not to laugh hysterically at the fact that his friends are all getting beaned with rubber balls.

The ground begins to thud. The guys stop dead in their tracks.

“Wait a second, stop the game,” Zero says. “What’s that noise?”

People look up from their books as the ground begins to thud even louder.

“Uh-oh,” Yugi mutters.

Zero gets up from the desk and peeks out the door.

“RUN FOR LIFE! IT’S A TIDAL WAVE OF FANGIRLS!”

“Wait, how’d that happen?” I ask.

“They must’ve heard what you said about the guys being shirtless,” Zero says in a panic. He slammed the door and tried to barricade it with his body, but the fangirls broke the door down and flooded into the library, knocking Zero to the ground and smooshing him. Yugi, Seto, and Ryou were carried off as the fangirls left the library.

Silence fell over the library once again.

“Damn, if only the library I worked at was this much fun,” I say.

“Hey, how come we don’t get no fangirls?” Joey asks as he looks at Tristan.

“Mokuba’s still here too,” Tristan pointed out. “The fangirls didn’t carry him away.”

“Only because I’m too young for fangirls,” Mokuba says.

“All righty, since Zero’s been knocked out, I guess it’s up to me to divvy up the money,” I say.

I walk on camera and walk behind the desk.

“Okay, I guess you guys passed the final challenge even though Yugi, Seto, and Ryou were carried off,” I say. “So you get one thousand dollars meaning your total is twenty-one hundred dollars. And since it’s just you three, you each get seven hundred dollars.” I hand each of them seven hundred dollars.

“All right!” Mokuba shouts.

“Who wants to go to the fancy buffet up the road? My treat!” Joey offered.

“Oh, man, I’m sooo hungry,” Tristan moans.

“As long as I don’t have to eat any more celery cones,” Mokuba says as they all laugh.

The three of them walk out of the library and try not to step on Zero on their way out.

Finally, Zero begins to come to.

“Whoa,” he says as he sits up and rubs his head. “What happened?” He looks over at me behind the desk. “Aren’t you supposed to be off camera?”

“Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything,” I said. “You were just about to take me out on a very romantic date.”

“I don’t think so,” Zero said as the same scowl we’re used to seeing on his face returned. “Get off camera and get back to work!”

“But the show’s over!” I argue.

“Then get out of here!” He yells.

So I skip out the door and catch up to Joey, Tristan, and Mokuba and we all head to the fancy buffet.


	2. Episode 2: Mai, Yami Yugi, Serenity, Duke, Tea, and Yami Bakura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game continues with six new players!

"I'm Zero Kazama. This is not a game show. _This_ is Silent Library."

"I'm DiamondsAreForever and I'm the announcer!" I say off screen. "Let's meet today’s contestants! First we have Tea.”

Tea flashes a perky smile as she walks into the library.

“Mai.”

Mai walks into the library thinking, _All right, time to win some money to fund my next shopping spree._

“Yami Yugi.”

Yami Yugi walks into the library and all the fangirls outside the library are standing behind a red velvet rope screaming, crying, taking pictures, and fainting in what I’m quite sure is a puddle of their own urine.

“Damn fangirls,” Zero mutters under his breath as I introduce the next contestant.

“Serenity.”

Serenity walks in and smiles shyly.

“Duke.”

Duke swaggers into the library.

“And Yami Bakura.”

The fangirls scream at the top of their lungs as Yami Bakura walks into the library with a scowl on his face.

_These pathetic mortals are no match for me and my millennium ring._

The contestants sit at the table and wait for the game to begin.

“Six duelists, one team, all playing to win hundreds of dollars. The rules are easy,” I begin. “Each of the contestants draws a card. Whoever gets the skull and crossbones has to endure a cruel and unusual punishment. If they success, they get money. But if they fail or their teammates make too much noise, they lose.”

“The challenges in round three are three hundred dollars,” Zero tells them. “And remember… _silence_! You may begin.”

Mai spreads the cards out on the table. She nods as Duke counts to three on his hands. When he reaches “three”, everyone flips their card over. Duke groans upon getting the skull and crossbones as everyone around him heaves a sigh of relief. Serenity giggles as she pulls the lever on the slot machine. The first challenge comes up on the slot machine display. The challenge is, “Book Drop”.

“The contestant must sit strapped in a chair while each of his teammates drops a very heavy book on his foot,” I explain. I add wistfully, “Man, I really wish we could play this game in the library I work at.”

Duke sits strapped to a chair while Serenity drops a very heavy book on Duke’s foot. She tries to stifle her laughter. Then Mai drops another heavy book on Duke’s foot. Yami Yugi drops another heavy book on Duke’s foot as Duke tries to choke back a scream of pain. Tea drops another book and Duke is turning red as Tea laughs lightly. Suddenly, Yami Bakura throws the heaviest book of all on Duke’s foot with intense force causing Duke to yell.

The six of them sit at the table as Zero says with disapproval, “Your pain showed and you were too loud! No money for you!”

“Bakura, why did you have to throw the book on Duke?” Yami Yugi asked.

“You foolish pharaoh, don’t you get pleasure out of seeing the pitiful one suffer, too?” Bakura asked.

“Duke couldn’t keep it down while his teammates tortured him, so the contestants begin the game with no money at all,” I say.

Mai spreads out the cards again and nods to Duke. Duke counts to three on his hands. When he reaches “three”, the cards are turned over and two skull and crossbones appear. One is for Yami Yugi, the other is for Tea. They both look at each other nervously as the others burst out laughing while other library patrons look up from their books and shake their heads.

“This time, two contestants will be punished while the other four are safe,” I tell the viewers at home.

Serenity laughs so hard that tears drip down her face as she pulls the lever. The next challenge on the slot machine’s display is “Clothing Swap”.

“In this challenge, the two contestants must trade clothes with each other in under thirty seconds,” I say. “Something tells me that this game was rigged. I mean, seriously…”

“Becky!” Zero snaps from behind the desk. “Silence!”

“Make me,” I say seductively.

The countdown begins and Yami Yugi quickly rips off his pants while Tea rips off her skirt and quickly pulls Yami Yugi’s pants on. The others are trying not to laugh hysterically.

“Shhhh!” Mai hisses as Tea takes her top off and quickly throws Yami Yugi’s shirt on her. With five seconds left, the two of them are standing in the library wearing each other’s clothes. Yami Yugi’s clothes are tight on Tea since Yugi is much shorter than Tea. The other four contestants are trying to control their laughter as Mai keeps shushing them. Yami Yugi and Tea turn bright red from embarrassment.

The buzzer signals the end of the game.

The contestants sit back at the table and Yami Yugi and Tea are back in their normal clothes.

“You both suffered in silence. You win the money,” Zero declares.

The six contestants are elated with their win.

“Yami Yugi and Tea pulled off the swap successfully and managed to win three hundred dollars for their team,” I say.

The team flips over their cards again when Duke counts to three.  This time, Serenity has the skull and crossbones. She lowers her head in frustration as the others laugh. She shakes her head and pulls the lever as the next challenge that comes up is called “Helping Hand”. Everyone laughs lightly.

“The contestant must be slapped by a mechanical hand for thirty seconds,” I explain. “The hand will start out slow and get progressively quicker.

The others gather around as Serenity sits at the table where the mechanical hand is placed on the opposite side of her. The other five contestants try not to laugh too loud as Yami Yugi flips the switch on the mechanical hand to turn it on. The hand slowly slaps Serenity across the face as she winces in anticipation of the hand growing faster. The others laugh quietly as Yami Yugi shushes them. The hand grows progressively faster and Serenity’s face scrunches up in pain.

The buzzer signals the end of the game. Tea, Yami Yugi, and Duke pat Serenity sympathetically on the back.

The instant replay shows the hand slowly smacking Serenity across the face and Serenity’s cheeks flap about.

“Your pain will not be unrewarded,” Zero says as the contestants are seated at the table. “You win the money.”

Tea, Yami Yugi, Duke, and Mai all give Serenity expressions of approval while Bakura sits there wishing this game would end.

“Serenity’s face took the beating and won her team and extra three hundred dollars,” I say. “The contestants will move into round two with six hundred dollars all to themselves.”

“Round two,” Zero says sternly. “Each challenge is worth four hundred dollars. And remember…silence! You may continue.”

Mai, Tea, Yami Yugi, Bakura, Serenity, and Duke all turn their cards over for the next challenge. Mai gets the skull and crossbones. A look of unease crosses Mai’s face as the others laugh lightly. Serenity pulls the lever and the challenge on the slot machine’s display reads, “Dead Bug Helmet”.

“It’s Mai’s turn to be punished!” I say, trying not to laugh. “The contestant must wear a helmet as it fills up with dead bugs for thirty seconds.”

“You’re crazy!” Mai shuddered. “There’s no way I’m wearing a helmet full of dead bugs! Gross!”

“Fine then,” Zero says flatly. “No money for you.”

“Come on Mai!” Serenity persuades. “If you do it, I promise you we can go shopping when this show is over and I’ll buy you something pretty with my share of the money.”

Mai stops to think about it for a moment.

“All right,” Mai says reluctantly. “I’ll do it. But I won’t enjoy it.”

“That’s the point Mai,” I tell her. “That’s why it’s called a _punishment_. Now quit being a sorry sport and put the helmet on.”

Mai is sitting on a chair with a helmet on and vacuum tubes coming out of the helmet. Her eyes are covered with goggles. She squirms in the chair as Duke flips the switch on the vacuum and the helmet fills up with dead flies, beetles, dragonflies, and ladybugs. Mai’s face turns every shade of green and scrunches up as the guys all laugh, trying not to make too much noise over the sound of the vacuum.

The buzzer sounds and Duke flips the vacuum off. Mai spits remnants of dead fly out of her mouth. Serenity, Tea, and Duke pat her approvingly on the back.

The six contestants sit at the table as Zero says, “Your discomfort amuses me. You passed.”

“Mai endured her punishment, and so the team earns an extra four hundred dollars to their earnings, giving them a grand total of one thousand dollars,” I announce.

The contestants flip over their cards. This time, Tea flips over her card to reveal the skull and crossbones. She shudders as the others laugh at her expense. Serenity pulls the lever. The next challenge is called “Old Man Bites Tenderly.”

Tea gulps in disgust.

“Oh man, I’m so glad I’m not Tea,” I giggle. “Oh, anyway, the contestant must endure an old man’s unusual greeting for thirty seconds.”

Tea sits in a chair anxiously awaiting her punishment as the others laugh. Duke shushes them as Grandpa Moto walks in. He cracks his knuckles and comes up to Tea and begins nibbling her ear as she shudders. Her face turns green and everyone else laughs lightly.

An eternity later, the buzzer goes off.

“I still get paid for this, right?” Grandpa Moto asks as he walks out of the library.

“I just hope _I_ got paid for that,” Tea muttered in disgust.

“Are you okay?” Yami Yugi asks. Tea turns bright red.

“Oh, I’m fine, thanks,” she giggles coyly.

The contestants sit around the table and await Zero’s decision.

“Your torment was intriguing to watch,” Zero says with a hint of amusement in his cold voice. “You win the money.”

“Tea’s discomfort paid off and she earns another four hundred dollars for her team,” I announce. “Their total comes to fourteen hundred dollars.”

The team members flip over their cards as Duke counts to three on his hands. Duke has the skull and cross bones.

Serenity giggles as she pulls the lever. The next challenge is called “Rubber Band Man”.

“In this game, the contestant must endure each of his teammates snapping a rubber band against his skin.”

Duke groans wondering how much more pain he can endure today.

Duke is sitting on a chair with the flesh of his arm exposed as each of his teammates come up one by one and snap him with a rubber band. Duke’s eyes fill with tears and he bites down on his lip trying to hold back a scream of pain. Unfortunately, Bakura snaps the rubber band really hard against Duke’s arm and Duke yelps as Serenity tries to shush him and the other teammates that are laughing really hard.

The slow motion camera shows Duke letting out a low-pitched, slow scream as Bakura snaps the rubber band against him.

Duke, Serenity, Tea, Mai, Yami Yugi, and Bakura are sitting in their chairs and look to Zero. Zero says, “And admirable effort. But you failed. No money!”

Duke gives Bakura a dirty look and the other contestants sigh with defeat.

“Duke couldn’t keep it down, so he wins no money. The team enters round three with fourteen hundred dollars,” I announce.

“Round three,” Zero begins. “Each challenge is worth double. Eight hundred dollars. And above all… silence! Resume play!”

“How come there wasn’t an eight hundred dollar round in the last episode?” Zero demands.

“Because I said so,” I remind him briefly. “I wanted pie.”

Zero looks at the contestants and says, “Continue playing!”

The six contestants flip over their cards. Everyone gets the skull and crossbones except for Bakura, who sits their smugly.

Serenity gulps nervously as she pulls the lever. The challenge on the slot machine reads, “Five Cheese Pizza.”

“The contestants must eat a pizza made with a blend of five smelly cheeses including brie, limburger, Roquefort, stinking bishop, and gorgonzola cheese,” I say. “Holy shit that stinks. I can smell it all the way from the narrator booth.” I grab a bucket and you can hear me puking off camera from the stench of the cheese.

The five contestants have the smelly pizza in front of them. Yami Yugi holds his nose and Mai gags audibly as Serenity moves the trashcan over to her. The five of them attempt to consume the smelly pizza as Bakura yells, “Eat the smelly pizza you mortal fools! Eat it! Eat it I say!”

Duke looks up from his slice of gross pizza, trying not to choke on it or faint from the stench. He attempts to shush Bakura, but it’s too late.

The gang looks over to Zero who says with a frown, “Your teammate made too much nose. No money!”

The five contestants who had to suffer the stinky pizza shoot a mean look at Bakura.

“Bakura couldn’t stay quiet, and so his teammates earned no money in the last game,” I announce. “Their total stands at fourteen hundred dollars.”

“Come on guys,” Mai encourages, “let’s earn some money! Fourteen hundred dollars isn’t enough money to fund my shopping spree!”

“But Mai, we’re splitting it six ways,” Duke reminded her.

“Oh no!” Mai panics. “That’s even less money!”

Mai deals out the cards as Duke counts to three on his hands. They turn over their cards. Mai draws the skull and crossbones. She groans quietly as the others laugh lightly. Serenity pulls the lever. The challenge reads, “Bad Door”.

“The contestant must endure whatever punishment is behind the Bad Door,” I explain, trying not to giggle.

Mai is wearing goggles. She gulps as she faces the door. Yami Yugi laughs lightly as he cuts in and turns the knob, opening the door. Standing at the door is a clown with a rainbow wig and giant, inflatable pants. The clown is carrying a pie. He smacks the pie into Mai’s face as the others laugh loudly, but not loud enough for the meter at the bottom of the screen to go red. The clown leaves the library as the others laugh and Duke shushes them.

Mai licks some of the pie off her lips.

“Mmmm,” she says quietly. “Coconut.”

Back at their chairs, Mai, Tea, Duke, Yami Yugi, Bakura, and Serenity look hopefully at Zero. He says, “That was acceptable. You win the money.”

The team cheers.

“Mai took her punishment with dignity, so she earns eight hundred dollars for the team. Their total comes to twenty-two hundred dollars,” I say as the team high-fives each other all accept for Bakura who sits there hoping this game will end soon.

The six contestants flip over their cards. This time, Yami Yugi gets the skull and crossbones. The challenge that comes up when Serenity pulls the lever reads, “Frozen Pants”.

“The contestant must as many bags of ice as they can down their pants in thirty seconds,” I explain.

Yami Yugi stands in the middle of the library as the others watch. A kiddy pool full of bags of ice is in the middle of the room. The others laugh lightly as the timer begins. Yami Yugi cringes and winces as he reluctantly picks up an ice bag and shoves it down his pants. Serenity shushes the others who begin laughing too loud as Yami Yugi picks up another bag and shoves it down his pants. Tea is turning bright red from watching Yami Yugi shove items in his pants in the first place. Bakura has a smug grin on his face in the middle of Yami Yugi’s discomfort.

The buzzer goes off and Yami Yugi can’t wait to get the ice bags out of his pants. He tosses them back into the kiddy pool.

The six contestants sit at the table. Zero says approvingly, “You passed. You get the money.”

“Yami Yugi’s discomfort paid off for his team, so they win another eight hundred dollars. They go into the final round with three thousand dollars,” I say.

“The final round is worth one thousand dollars,” Zero says in his icy voice. “Silence! Finish the game!”

Mai deals out the cards and Duke counts to three on one hand. As soon as he reaches “three”, they turn their cards over. Bakura looks furious when he finds out he has the skull and crossbones.

Serenity pulls the lever. The challenge reads, “Potato Toss”.

Duke is rubbing his hands together at the thought of getting even with Bakura.

Bakura stands in the middle of the library wearing goggles and with his shirt off. Zero has padlocked the front door of the library in an attempt to stop the fangirls from breaking and entering.

“The contestant must be hit for thirty seconds with baked potatoes that include all of the toppings,” I announce.

The timer begins and Duke puts a loaded baked potato on the catapult and launches it at Bakura. He launches another and another. Before long, Bakura is covered in foodstuffs and he stands there quietly seething as the other teammates stifle their laughter.

_I swear, when this pathetic game is over, I will have them all banished to the Shadow Realm!_ Bakura vows silently as his punishment continues for five more seconds until the buzzer goes off. Bakura’s topless body is covered in potato and potato toppings.

A flood of fangirls breaks down the front door. They’ve managed to destroy the padlock. Several fangirls are gathered around Bakura and begin licking the potato and toppings off of him. The look on Bakura’s face turns into an expression of horror and fury.

“Get these imbeciles _off_ of me!” He hisses.

“SECURITY!” Zero yells. Several huge security guards pry the fangirls off of Bakura, dragging them kicking and screaming out of the library.

After Bakura is cleaned up and dressed, Zero makes his final judgment.

“Your suffering will not go unrewarded. You win the final round,” Zero announces.

Everyone is ecstatic except for Bakura, who merely shouts, “Silence! I’m going to send all of you to the Shadow Realm for humiliating me!”

Everyone looks fearful, even the innocent library bystanders. Even Zero’s normally neutral face has a look of terror on it.

I jump out on camera with a hot cherry pie in my hands.

“Wait!” I say. “Before you send everyone to the shadow realm, wouldn’t you rather have a nice, tasty piece of hot pie? I was saving it for Mai so I could say I brought pie for Mai, but I think you’d be happier with it, instead.”

“Foolish mortal,” Bakura scowls. “Your offering of sweet goods will have no affect on my choice to banish all of these fools to the Shadow Realm!”

I take a forkful of pie and shove it in Bakura’s mouth.

“Mmmm,” he says contently after a while. “That _is_ good.” He grabs the fork from my hand and begins shoveling it into his mouth. “All right,” he says. “I’m going to spare you all.”

“Good thinking, Becky!” Tea applauds.

“Don’t thank me! Thank the cherry pie!” I say with a smile.

“Holy crap, you saved us all!” Zero says in shock. “How can I ever thank you?”

“Hmmm, I can think of a few good ways,” I say slyly.

Zero ignores what I just said and begins divvying the money up.

“The team’s total is at four thousand dollars, meaning each player gets six hundred and sixty six dollars. Wow, the devil would be proud,” I say as Zero hands each of the contestants their money.

“Now let’s go shopping!” Mai announces as she leaves the library.

“Oooh! I wanna go too!” I say.

“I’ll buy you something nice to thank you for saving us all from that creepy jerk,” Mai offers.

“Wait for us!” Serenity calls out with Tea in tow. Yami Yugi follows them.

Bakura walks out of the library eating the rest of the pie and Duke tries to catch up with Serenity. 


	3. Episode 3: The Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea, Mai, Rebecca, Isis, Serenity, and a special guest play for money in this episode.

We see Zero Kazama who seems to have recovered from the weirdness of the last two episodes. Little does he realize it’s not going to get any better.

“I’m Zero Kazama,” he says from behind the desk. “This is not a game show. This is Silent Library.”

“Let’s meet our contestants,” I begin.

“First we have Tea,” I say.

Tea walks in wondering how she got picked for two episodes in a row.

“Mai.”

Mai walks in with a brand new Coach bag she bought with her earnings from the last episode.

“Serenity.”

Serenity walks in with a smile and a wave.

“Rebecca.”

Rebecca skips into the library excited about the idea of winning some money. She carries her teddy bear with her.

“Isis.”

Isis walks into the library looking very confused as to why she’s here.

_The millennium necklace brought me here,_ she thinks to herself as she sits down. _Maybe it is my destiny to compete in this strange competition._

“And me, your announcer, Becky, better known as DiamondsAreForever!” I announce as I swagger into the library wearing high-heeled purple pumps and a short, strapless purple dress with lots of frills and sparkles.

Zero’s eyes widen and his jaw hits the floor.

“Isn’t she beautiful? I helped her pick out that outfit you know. Don’t I just have fantastic taste?” Mai boasts. “She looks just like me!”

“Mai, just because I’m a blonde wearing purple doesn’t mean that I look like you,” I insist. “But thank you for the compliment!”

“Becky, what are you doing here?” Zero demands.

“Don’t worry, I can still announce the show from out here,” I say. “I could only think of five awesome female characters from the Yu-Gi-Oh series. I guess we could’ve just used Dark Magician Girl or something like that as the sixth contestant, but then I wouldn’t get to play! And I like money! Anyway,” I continue as I sit down with the other girls, “Six girls play as one team, all to win hundreds of dollars. Whoever draws the skull and crossbones must endure a cruel and unusual punishment. If she succeeds, she and her teammates win money. If she fails or her teammates make too much noise, she won’t receive any money. And since this is an all-girl episode, there are no fangirls lined up outside the library!”

“Yeah, but there’s one _inside_ the library,” Zero reminds me.

“Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy my company,” I say flirtatiously.

“This is going to be a really long show,” Zero groans. “Remember…silence! You may begin so we can get this over with.”

Serenity deals out the cards. As soon as everyone gets one, she nods to Rebecca who counts to three on her fingers. On “three” everyone turns over their cards. Rebecca whines when she gets the skull and crossbones.

“Oh no,” she pouts to her teddy bear. “What are we gonna do, Teddy?”

Isis pulls the lever on the slot machine. The first challenge of the day is “Rear Pop”. We all laugh lightly at Rebecca.

“The contestant must pop balloons attached to her rear while wearing cleats in less than thirty seconds,” I elaborate as Mai helps Tea strap a belt of balloons around Rebecca’s small waist. Rebecca is wearing cleats. The timer begins and Rebecca tries to kick her heels as far behind her as she can as each of the balloons pop. The five of us watching laugh until Isis shushes us and Rebecca seems to actually enjoy popping the balloons on her backside.

Rebecca pops the last balloon just as the timer hits zero and everyone pats Rebecca on the back.

“We did it, Teddy!” Rebecca whispers happily to her teddy bear.

We sit around the table as Zero looks at us judgingly.

“You succeeded!” He says approvingly. “You win the money!”

Everyone cheers for Rebecca as I say into the camera, “Rebecca scored us our first win of the day, so we win three hundred dollars.”

Serenity cuts the cards and nods to Rebecca who counts to three on her hand. Everyone turns over the cards and Isis looks very nervous as she reveals the skull and crossbones. She nervously pulls the lever. The challenge on the display reads “Temporary Seal”.

“The contestant must catch fish with her mouth for thirty seconds while dressed as a seal,” I say.

Isis slips into a seal costume and our team ends up getting a bucket of stinky fish to toss at Isis. Isis turns bright red as the countdown start. We try not to laugh at Isis’s misery while we toss wet, smelly dead fish in Isis’s direction.

To Isis’s relief, the buzzer signals the end of the game. We sit at the table as Zero delivers his judgment with the same stern look on his face.

“Your torture shall be rewarded,” Zero says coldly as we cheer, and pat Isis on the back for suffering through something so awkward.

“Isis’s embarrassment paid off for us,” I say. “She won an additional three hundred dollars for our team, bringing our total to six hundred dollars.”

During the next card flip, Mai draws the skull and crossbones. She groans softly as we giggle. Serenity pulls the lever to reveal the next challenge, a game called “Spice Helmet”.

“Why do I always have to wear helmets that fill up with gross things?” Mai whines softly as I pat her consolingly on the back.

Mai ends up sitting in a chair with a helmet on her head and goggles over her eyes. Vacuum tubes lead into the helmet.  

“The contestant must wear a helmet for thirty seconds as it fills with various spices including chili powder, garlic powder, rosemary, thyme, and pepper,” I say as Mai braces herself for her spicy punishment.

The countdown begins and the helmet begins to fill with a blend of spices. Mai holds her breath and we try to silence our laughter, which is next to impossible with the weird faces Mai keeps making beneath the helmet.

As the countdown hits zero, we remove Mai’s helmet. Mai spits out fragments of spices and shakes the chili powder out of her blonde hair as we pat her on the back.

Back at the table, we anxiously await Zero to deliver his decision as to whether or not Mai’s suffering paid off in our favor.

“I’ll accept that,” Zero says in his usual deadpan tone. “You win the money.”

Mai’s face lights up with joy and we all cheer as I say, “Mai’s stint in the spice helmet paid off. She earned three hundred dollars for our team. We finish out the first round with nine hundred dollars.”

“Round two,” Zero says as we stop cheering. “Each round is four hundred dollars. And remember, silence! You may continue.”

Serenity deals out the cards and Rebecca counts to three. I flip over the skull and crossbones. Even though I announce for this show and have an idea of what’s going to happen next, I’m nervous about my punishment and just hope I don’t have to eat anything nasty or get hurt.

Isis giggles lightly as she pulls the lever. The challenge reads, “Toy Meal”. I heave a sigh of relief.

A plate of brightly colored spaghetti and meatballs plops down in front of me.

“I will have thirty seconds to eat this plate of spaghetti and meatballs made out of play-dough. And because I was the play-dough eating champion in kindergarten, I got this one in the bag,” I say confidently.

“Silence!” Zero scolds me from behind the desk. “Eat your spaghetti!”

I grab a fork and dig in, not noticing the eager faces on my teammates as I finish up the play-dough. The countdown hits zero signaling that I’m out of time. By then, my plate is totally clean.

I look over at Zero smugly as his jaw hits the floor.

“I don’t believe it,” Zero gasps. “You _ate_ the play-dough. You win.”

The girls approvingly pat me on the back as I belch loudly. I then say, “My awesome play-dough eating skills served us well in the first game in the second round.”

“Becky, you can stop showboating now. We all know you like to eat play-dough,” Zero says as he rolls his eyes.

“Hey! I never said I like to eat play-dough!” I reply defensively. “Anyway, I won four hundred dollars for our team, so our total comes to twelve hundred!”

We fall silent again as we flip over our cards to see who will be the victim of the next challenge. Serenity’s face falls as she ends up with the skull and crossbones.

Isis pulls the lever. Serenity’s punishment is entitled “Foot Face Way”. Serenity looks like she’s going to puke.

Serenity sits on the floor as I announce, “The contestant must have her face massaged by a stranger’s smelly feet.” Serenity turns every shade of green as we laugh lightly.

It turns out, it isn’t a stranger that walks into the library, but it’s actually Tristan. Tristan takes off his shoes which smell like the worst foot odor imaginable. He rolls off his socks and all of us look like we’re going to puke. Tristan sits across from Serenity in a recliner. Serenity holds her nose and makes quiet gagging sounds as Tristan’s nasty, fungus-covered feet roll across Serenity’s smooth face for thirty seconds. We giggle lightly and several library patrons look over at us and shake their heads.

The buzzer goes off and Tristan rolls his socks back on as he walks out of the library with a content grin on his face. Serenity stands up and we hug her sympathetically.

We sit back at the study table. Zero says approvingly, “You survived the stench. You win the money.”

“Serenity’s torture leads us to victory,” I say. “Our team earns another four hundred dollars leading our team to sixteen hundred dollars.”

Tea is the next person to draw the skull and crossbones. She groans in annoyance as Isis pulls the lever. Tea’s punishment is called, “Couch share.”

“Tea must share the couch with a random stranger,” I say as Tea sits on a couch nervously at the edge of the study table.

A very, very fat man without a shirt on walks through the door. Tea gulps. The guy smells like he hasn’t showered in a year. He stops and stares at Tea suggestively as the rest of us giggle.

The fat man parks his butt on the couch next to Tea, but the cushion Tea is seated on explodes. She is sent flying through the air and lets out a scream of surprise as she falls to the floor.

The fat man walks out of the library with a grin on his face as Zero shakes his head disapprovingly.

We sit back at the study table. Zero tells us with a frown, “You made too much noise. No money for you!”

Everyone shoots Tea a dirty look as I say, “Tea’s first lost of the day ends our winning streak. We finish out round two with sixteen hundred dollars.”

“Round three,” Zero announces. “Each challenge is much harder. They are worth double the money. You may continue playing. And remember… _silence_!”

Serenity deals out the cards for the first game of the next round. Mai draws the skull and crossbones and frowns. Isis pulls the lever. Mai must face a punishment called “Bugged Feet.”

Mai cringes as I announce, “The contestant must walk in shoes filled with bugs for twenty seconds.”

Mai looks like she’s going to puke as Tea and Serenity scoop a bucket filled with live crickets, maggots, and other creepy-crawlies into a pair of rain boots. We giggle lightly as Mai slips off her purple boots and steps into the rain boots. Mai squeals nervously and I motion for everyone to be quiet. Mai looks like she’s going to cry as she shuffles uncomfortably around the library wearing the boots.

The countdown reaches zero and not a second later, Mai sits back down and throws the boots off her feet as bugs spill out all over the carpet. We giggle lightly as Mai squirms uncomfortably.

We sit at the study table. Mai still looks horrified from her ordeal.

“Come on Mai!” I whisper. “You survived the bug helmet in the last episode!”

“That was different,” Mai pouts. “These were _live_ bugs.”

Zero frowns. “You forgot the most important rule. _Silence_! No money for you.”

Everyone sighs as I announce, “Mai’s loss is the second one for our team in a row. Our total remains at sixteen hundred dollars.”

In the beginning of the next challenge, Tea groans as she turns over the card revealing the skull and crossbones. Isis pulls the lever. We all giggle as the display reads, “Cat Stink Vacuum”.

“The contestant has to wear a helmet as it fills up with used cat litter for thirty seconds,” I announce. “Sucks to be you, Tea.”

“Shut up Becky,” Tea mutters in annoyance.

Tea sits in a chair with a helmet on her head and goggles over her eyes. Vacuum tubes lead into the helmet. Rebecca giggles as she flips the switch on the vacuum so that it runs in reverse. The helmet fills up with dirty cat litter as it flies into the helmet and Tea looks like she’s going to vomit.

The buzzer sounds and Tea can’t get the helmet off fast enough. She shakes the cat litter out of her hair and gasps deeply as we all laugh at her expense.

Back at the table, Zero brings good news.

“Your torment was amusing,” Zero says. “You win the money.”

“Tea survived the cat stink, meaning she wins eight hundred dollars for our team,” I say. “Our total rises to twenty-four hundred dollars.”

Serenity deals out the cards. We all flip them over on the count of three except for Rebecca. When she notices everyone has the green “safe” cards she turns hers over nervously to see it’s her turn to be punished. She hugs her teddy bear anxiously as Isis pulls the lever to reveal a challenge called “Pizza Shoot Off”.

Rebecca slips into a plastic suit looking with a frown on her face as she holds a sheet of pizza dough. We all giggle as we’re armed with guns loaded with various toppings. Tea and I both hold guns filled with pizza sauce while Mai is holding a gun filled with cheese and Isis and Serenity hold the guns filled with toppings.

“While holding pizza dough, the contestant must be shot with marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, onions, and anchovies,” I say.

Tea and I simultaneously fire at Rebecca with the sauce, but more of it ends up on Rebecca’s plastic suit than on the pizza. Mai blasts the cheese at Rebecca next and Mai goes flying backwards as the gun fires. Mai lets out a scream. Serenity fires at Rebecca with the onions, but she misses and a cluster of onion slices ends up breaking a hole in the ceiling. We burst out laughing. Isis is the only one who manages to hit Rebecca’s sheet of pizza dough accurately with the anchovies.

We’re still laughing and even Rebecca’s laughing too. The floor is now covered in sauce and toppings and Rebecca slips and falls flat on her butt as she tries to bring the pizza over to us. We’re in hysterics.

Of course, Zero doesn’t find our antics funny at all.

“Too loud!” He decides. “No money!”

We’re still too busy laughing at Serenity blasting a hole in the ceiling to care.

“Okay, so apparently Serenity blasting a hole in the ceiling with onions was way too funny,” I say between laughs. “We win no money and our total remains at twenty-four hundred dollars as we enter the last round.”

“The final round is worth one thousand dollars,” Zero says coldly. “And as always, _silence_! Finish the game so I can go home!”

Serenity deals out the cards. Rebecca counts to three on her hands. I still haven’t turned my card over as I notice everyone else has the skull and crossbones.

“Ha!” I scoff. “Everyone’s screwed except for me!”

“Turn your card over, Becky,” Zero says.

I turn my card over. I get the skull and crossbones too.

“Okay, so we’re _all_ screwed,” I groan.

“It’s payback time, Becky,” Zero says smugly.

Isis pulls the lever and the challenge on the display is “Dog House”. I nearly puke in my mouth.

“We all have to eat a dog house made of dog biscuits and wet dog foot,” I say uneasily as the other girls look like they’re about to turn green. The dog house is placed in front of us. “We have forty-five seconds.”

The clock begins ticking and we all nervously take bites of the dog food. You can hear six different voices gagging and retching as the trash can is being passed around and the stench of dog food fills the air.

The buzzer sounds. We’ve hardly eaten a dent in the dog house.

 “Your lack of success has led to failure!” Zero says smugly. “No money for you!”

We sigh as I announce, “We failed the final challenge. Our total remains at twenty-four hundred.” We walk out of the library as Zero doles out the money to each of us. “We won twenty-four hundred dollars,” I repeat. “Each of us takes home four hundred bucks. Not bad for a day at the library.”


	4. Episode 4: Rebecca, Vivian, Pegasus, Raphael, Marik, and Yami Marik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six random Yu-Gi-Oh characters play for cash in this hysterical episode of Silent Library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When this story was posted on another fan fiction site, fans requested this group of characters. If I don't have the personalities exactly right, I'm very sorry. I stopped watching Yu-Gi-Oh after Noah's Saga and needed to watch some YouTube clips to get an idea of what I was doing. Anyway, send in your ideas for games and characters you want to see, and I'll gladly write an episode with your ideas!

“I’m Zero Kazama,” Zero says from behind the circulation desk. “And this is not a game show. _This_ is Silent Library.”

“Let’s meet today’s victims, I er, mean, contestants!” I announce. I’ve gone back to the narrator booth for this episode. “First up, we have Rebecca.”

Rebecca skips into the library ready to win even more money than last time.

“Vivian.”

Vivian saunters in the library, totally confident that she’s going to dominate every challenge.

“Pegasus.”

Pegasus enters the library. He smiles in a sleazy manner as he moves his white hair out of his face to reveal his Millennium eye. He joins Rebecca and Vivian at the study table.

“Raphael.”

Raphael walks in with a grin. Every fan girl outside the library cheers and swoons.

 _This should be fun_. He thinks confidently.

“Damn, I didn’t think he would have any fangirls,” I say skeptically. “I mean, the guy talks like he’s just smoked every cigar in the tobacco store, and…”

“Shut up!” Raphael growls.

“Just finish the intro!” Zero scolds.

“Oh, right,” I continue. “Marik.”

Marik walks in with a confident smile as the fangirls erupt. They get even louder when I announce the next player.

“And Yami Marik,” I say as Yami Marik walks in scowling with the Millennium rod in his hand. “Hold on a moment, this makes no sense! If you’re a part of Marik, how come you ended up with a separate body?” I ask.

“You foolish narrator,” Yami Marik says coldly. He’s about to say something else when a fan girl cuts him off.

“He’s sooooo dreamy!” The fan girl squeals from outside. “He’s waaaay hotter than Marik!”

“How can you tell?” I shout. “They’re the same friggin’ person!”

“Silence!” Zero yells. “Sit down and start the game!”

Yami Marik joins the others at the study table and I explain the rules. “These six characters that I don’t really care for and don’t know much about except Rebecca because we share the same first name…”

 “Hey!” Vivian shouts defensively.

“Oh shut up Vivian,” I say. “Anyway, these six random people are playing as a team to win money. Whoever draws the skull and crossbones must endure a usual punishment. If they succeed, their team earns money. If they fail the challenge of their teammates make too much noise, they win nothing.”

“Round one,” Zero says. “Each challenge is worth three hundred dollars. The most important rule… _silence_! You may begin.”

Marik deals out the cards to each player and nods to Vivian. She counts to three on her hands. Everyone turns over a card. Pegasus receives the skull and crossbones and must endure the first challenge of the day. Rebecca pulls the lever and the display reads “Cat Nap”.

“The contestant must have my cat Elliott knead on their face for thirty seconds,” I explain. Pegasus lies on the floor as we prop his head up with a stack of books. The door opens and my cat Elliott prances in. He purrs loudly as he pounces on top of Pegasus’s body and crawls towards Pegasus’s face. Elliott starts to knead on Pegasus’s face as the others laugh lightly. Pegasus’s face scrunches up in discomfort.

As the buzzer sounds, Elliott hops off of Pegasus and scampers out the door. Pegasus stands up and the others laugh at the red marks all over Pegasus’s face. The six players sit back down around the study table and wait for Zero to decide their fate.

“You survived the punishment of Becky’s cat,” Zero says slowly. “You win.”

Pegasus looks pleased with himself as the others cheer.

“And so Pegasus scores the team’s first victory of the day. They begin with three hundred dollars,” I say.

Marik deals out the cards as he nods to Vivian. She counts to three and everyone flips over their cards. Raphael’s jaw drops in surprise as he turns over the skull and crossbones. Giggling can be heard by everyone at the table as Rebecca pulls the lever. Raphael’s punishment is entitled “Bacon Bowl”.

Raphael scowls as a dog dish full of raw bacon is placed in front of him.

“The contestant has thirty seconds to eat raw bacon out of a dog dish,” I announce as I add, “Enjoy your salmonella.”

The clock begins and Raphael shoves the bacon into his mouth groaning and grunting quietly while the others laugh lightly. Raphael shudders as he swallows the last, slimy piece of raw bacon. He somehow manages to finish all the bacon before the countdown hits zero.

Zero looks at the six contestants waiting anxiously and says, “That was impressive. You win the money.”

Everyone cheers and I announce, “Raphael stomached the raw bacon earning his team the day’s second win. They now have six hundred dollars all for the keeping.”

Marik deals the cards. After Vivian counts to three, everyone turns their card over. Marik groans in annoyance as it is revealed he gets the skull and crossbones. Rebecca giggles and pulls the lever on the slot machine. The challenge on the display reads, “Captain Wheel”.

A gigantic captain’s wheel is rolled over to the edge of the study table. Marik stands near it not looking forward to the punishment. Vivian puts a captain’s hat on Marik’s head.

“The contestant must try to stop a spinning captain’s wheel using nothing but his crotch,” I say, making every attempt not to laugh.

Raphael turns the wheel as hard as he can and it spins quickly. Marik gulps as he slowly approaches the captain’s wheel and trusts his hips towards it in an attempt to get it to stop spinning. Everyone bursts out laughing as Marik lets out a yell.

The gang sits back at the table. Zero says in disgust, “You couldn’t stay quiet. You lose!”

“You could have just had me send the host to the Shadow Realm you know,” Yami Marik tells Marik. “You think I’m going to help you now? You had your chance, you mortal fool!”

“Shut up!” Marik says in annoyance, his hands over his aching groin.

“The gang just couldn’t stay quiet,” I say. “Their total remains at six hundred dollars as they enter the second round.”

“Round two,” Zero says sternly. “Each challenge is worth four hundred dollars. But heed my warning… _silence_! Continue!”

Marik deals out the cards. Everyone turns a card over. Rebecca pouts as it is revealed she has the skull and crossbones. She groans as she pulls the lever. Her punishment is called “Carnival Mix Up.”

“The contestant must drink a milk shake made from popular carnival foods including a chili cheese dog, a funnel cake, some cotton candy, and fried pickles,” I say as Marik grins sinisterly while putting all the food items in the blender. Vivian pushes the power button on the blender for a few seconds and then pours all the contents into a milkshake glass. She passes it down to Rebecca. Pegasus takes a whiff of it and nearly gags. As Rebecca holds the glass in her hand, she holds her nose and tries to chug it, but ends up gagging. Marik sends the trash can down towards Rebecca, but it’s too late. Rebecca makes loud retching sounds and pukes all over the floor. Everyone else is laughing, but Vivian moans loudly in disgust.

Rebecca’s ordeal finally ends. Zero looks at her and says in disappointment, “Your stomach betrayed you. You lose!”

“Rebecca couldn’t stomach the shake. Her team’s total stands at six hundred dollars.”

Marik deals out the cards. Vivian counts to three, and to her dismay she draws the skull and crossbones. She groans loudly as the others laugh at her expense, even Raphael laughs in that creepy, throaty voice of his. Rebecca pulls the lever. The display reads, “Shared Shake”.

“The contestant must share a vibrating weight loss belt with a sweaty stranger for thirty seconds,” I announce.

“What? Ewww! I’m not doing it!” Vivian protests.

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t,” Raphael says. “You’re pathetic.”

“ _Excuse_ me?” Vivian asks in that saucy attitude we all know and (sometimes) love.

“Please!” Rebecca begs. “We only have six hundred dollars! I want more money!”

Vivian groans as she steps on the platform and places her half of the weight loss belt around her. She’s wearing a sports bra and sweat pants. Into the library walks a very fat shirtless, sweaty stranger with bad body odor. The sweaty guy stands on the platform and faces Vivian as he straps himself into the weight loss belt. He flicks the power on and the belt begins to vibrate. The other contestants laugh lightly as Vivian’s face turns bright red with disgust and embarrassment.

To Vivian’s relief, the buzzer sounds. The vibrating weight loss belt suddenly stops and the gross sweaty guy walks out of the library.

“You suffered in silence,” Zero says as the gang sits around the study table. “You win the money.”

Everyone cheers and Rebecca pats Vivian on the back approvingly.

“Vivian shook it out and won the team’s third victory of the day. Their total comes to one thousand dollars,” I announce as the gang rejoices.

Pegasus draws the skull and crossbones for the second time in the game. Rebecca pulls the lever and Pegasus raises his brows in suspicion when the challenge that comes up is called “Pie Surprise”.

“The contestant must eat a pie made with mystery ingredients,” I say. “And only I know what’s in the pie!”

“Becky! Stop that!” Zero barks.

“Tell us what’s in the pie or I’ll send you to the Shadow Realm!” Yami Marik threatens.

“Why do you care?” Marik asks. “You’re not the one _in_ this challenge!”

“Silence!” Zero shouts over the chaos. “Continue!”

A giant pie with a cream-covered top is placed in front of Pegasus. Rebecca, Vivian, and Raphael laugh quietly. Pegasus stares at the pie questioningly as he picks up a fork and pokes the top of the pie. The pie erupts loudly and cream goes all over the place. Pegasus’s face is now covered in cream as his teammates scream in surprise followed by hushed laughter.

Pegasus just licks the cream off his face.

“That’s kinda dirty,” Raphael whispers.

“No shit Sherlock,” I say from the narrator booth.

“That was a pathetic effort,” Zero decides. “No money!”

“The contestants were too surprised by the pie, so their total remains at a thousand dollars,” I say. “They enter round three.”

“Round three. The challenges are worth double the money,” Zero reminds everyone. “And above all… _silence_! Keep playing!”

Marik cuts the cards and deals them out. Vivian counts to three. Yami Marik is the unlucky victim that draws the skull and crossbones. The challenge that comes up is “Twister Smack”.

“The contestant must endure a smacking from a tornado and objects that are caught inside the tornado for thirty seconds,” I explain as a giant mechanical tornado with plastic cows and farmhouses is wheeled in. Yami Marik is wearing goggles.

The countdown begins and the tornado starts to spin. The gang laughs lightly, especially Marik. Vivian tries to shush everyone as Yami Marik’s face morphs into an expression of fury while a plastic farmhouse hits him in the head. Yet he remains quiet until the buzzer sounds.

The team sits around the study table wondering if Yami Marik’s torture paid off.

“You suffered quietly,” Zero says approvingly. “You win!”

“Yami Marik took his punishment quietly. His team wins eight hundred dollars in the first challenge of round three,” I say. “Their total comes to eighteen hundred dollars.” Yami Marik looks smug.

Marik deals out the cards. As Vivian counts to three, everyone turns their cards over. The only person with a green “Safe” card is Rebecca, who looks overjoyed about not having to participate in the next game and pulls the lever to see what the fate of her teammates shall be. Their punishment reads, “Cup Cake Choice”.

“The contestants must eat cupcakes made out of ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, and tartar sauce in less than thirty seconds,” I say.

The plate of cupcakes is brought out for the five unlucky players. They each grab a cupcake. Vivian gags on the mustard cupcake loudly while Marik nearly vomits after one bite of the mayonnaise cupcake. By the end of the thirty seconds, Only Yami Marik and Raphael have finished the barbecue sauce and ketchup cupcakes while Pegasus is halfway through the tartar sauce cupcake. The trashcan is full of half-eaten nasty cupcakes and puke.

“Unacceptable!” Zero declares. “You lose!”

“The team couldn’t finish the cupcakes, so they win no money,” I announce. “Their total stays put at eighteen hundred dollars.”

In the last challenge of round three, Yami Marik draws the skull and crossbones.

“What?!” He asks. “Impossible! How did I draw the skull and crossbones _again_?” Marik laughs lightly as Rebecca pulls the lever. Yami Marik must do a challenge called “Sad Bee”.

“The contestant must endure his punishment from a temperamental bumble bee,” I announce.

Yami Marik braces himself for his punishment. Weevil walks into the library dressed in a bumble bee costume. Everyone laughs lightly. Weevil looks Yami Marik in the eye and kicks Yami Marik in the nuts. Yami Marik growls and just as Weevil is about to leave the library, Yami Marik banishes Weevil to the Shadow Realm.

Everyone stops laughing.

Back at the table, the gang knows they aren’t going to win any money and Zero is less-than-amused.

“You couldn’t finish the game without sending someone to the Shadow Realm!” Zero snaps. “No money!”

“Quiet Zero! You’re next!” Yami Marik threatens.

“We need to decide on a rule that bans Millennium items from the library,” I say.

“Hey!” Pegasus says defensively. “Not all of us are using Millennium items to get our way! I could’ve easily told my teammates which challenges were on the display and who was getting the skull and crossbones, but I didn’t!”

“Good for you Peggy. I’m so proud of you,” I say sarcastically. “Anyway, you’ll all enter the last round with eighteen hundred dollars. Good luck! You’ll need it!”

“Final Round,” Zero says in an attempt to control the chaos. “The challenge is worth one thousand dollars. And remember the most important rule… _silence_! Finish the game! Please!”

Marik deals out the cards. When Vivian counts to three, everyone turns their card over. Yami Marik has the skull and crossbones yet again. Raphael and Marik laugh at Yami Marik’s expense and Rebecca giggles as she pulls the lever. The final punishment is called “Fruit Shoot”.

“The contestant must be shot at with rotten fruit by his teammates,” I say.

Yami Marik groans furiously as he stands shirtless while Rebecca, Marik, Pegasus, Vivian, and Raphael are armed with guns that shoot rotten oranges, moldy peaches, and fermented melon. The fangirls are standing at the door screaming while the front door has been barricaded with a bookshelf.

One by one, everyone takes turns down the line shooting rotten fruit at Yami Marik. The gang laughs lightly as they fire their ammo at Yami Marik. By the time thirty seconds are up, Yami Marik smells awful and is covered in orange goo. His teammates laugh lightly while Rebecca reminds them to be quiet. Yami Marik picks up a towel and dries the goo off his torso. He searches for his shirt, but it’s missing.

“I got his shirt! I got his shirt!” Shouts a fan girl outside the library. Zero looks outside the library in confusion.

“How did they get in here?” Zero asks.

“I will send all the fan girls to the Shadow Realm!” Yami Marik threatens.

“Couldn’t you just buy a new shirt with the money I’m about to give you?” Zero suggests. “You won the final challenge.”

Yami Marik doesn’t have a readied comeback as his teammates cheer.

“The gang’s total comes to twenty-eight hundred dollars,” I say. “That’s four hundred and sixty dollars per player. Not bad for a day at the library.”

Yami Marik is the last one out the door. As he takes the money from Zero, he says, “Finally! With this money I shall rule the world!”

“Uh, how are you gonna rule the world with four hundred dollars?” Raphael asks.

“Psh, I make that much money in less than an hour,” Pegasus says. “This is chump change.”

“Oh,” Yami Marik says. “Well with this money, I’m going to buy a new shirt!” He announces. 

**Author's Note:**

> All right, that was the first episode. If there are any suggestions for characters you want to see and games you want our contestants to play, leave them in the reviews. Hope you enjoyed it!


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